Dulwich
When her parents left Dulwich for Southern France, they moved Caroline to a boarding school. Under different circumstances, The Cheltenham Ladies College may have proven satisfactory, but a cruel collection of frictions soon surfaced.
Gipsy Hill
They enrolled Caroline in a school by Gipsy Hill. Somehow, her parents realized how much of a mistake this was before she did.
Marathon on the Florida Keys
After Marathon on the Florida Keys and Wellfleet on Cape Cod they moved on to Great Britain, where they settled in Dulwich for a year. Their pain and restlessness knew no bounds.
Teddy Roosevelt At The Grand Canyon
Teddy Roosevelt At The Grand Canyon made it clear… “In the Grand Canyon, Arizona has a natural wonder which is in kind absolutely unparalleled throughout the rest of the world. I want to ask you to keep this great wonder of nature as it now is. I hope you will not...
Their Own Fashion
In their own fashion, each understood their loss was unique. Caroline knew her mother’s pain differed from her father’s and that her own feelings differed from those of her parents. She also knew she was not of an age to distinguish this.
The Conversation
The conversation each of them looked so forward to never took place. They found they didn’t know how to talk about their loss. No attempt was made to express their feelings, although their feelings were as real as the boundaries which blockaded their expression.
Destinations
For the next few days the three of them weighed the pros and cons of different destinations. Each understood the futilities they would take along, pain to be unpacked like sweaters and shoes and worn every day.
Father
Caroline’s father brought a stack of travel books back to their hotel room. Florida and New England, London and Western Europe. They browsed through them and dog-eared pages for hours on end. The only problem was the discord, how the travel writers draped the...
Two Sweaters
Caroline packed her favorite framed picture of her brother in her own suitcase, wedged between two sweaters. She didn’t want her mother to come across it but figured at some point the picture would be welcome.
Window
Caroline guessed as best she could what her mother would want packed. Out the window, she watched her father talk with their neighbor who would keep an eye on their house.
Suitcases
They checked into a hotel in Burbank. She asked her father if they could head out on a long trip. Caroline and her father went home to pack suitcases. Later on they would decide on a destination.
Afterward
Afterward, on the drive home to Burbank, Caroline’s fading mother announced she could not return. Someday she might step into their house again but not now. Not with glimpses of her son in every room. Not when she heard his voice rising and falling like a distant...
Rage
She felt the rage return when she threw her brother’s brittle ashes. There was no release, no closure, nothing that came close to making her feel better. She vaguely understood the symbolism but whatever meaning it was supposed to represent was lost on her.
Early
Early one morning they drove up to the Carrizo Plain to scatter his ashes. Her mother and father tossed clumps straight up into the blue sky. Their fury was unconcealed. Then the Santa Ana wind swept the sharp-edged ashes south like the shadows of swallows.
Clematis and Chrysanthemums
Clematis and chrysanthemums, asters and larkspur. Looking out at her mother’s garden, they drew Caroline back to when her brother was still alive. Why this happened she wasn’t sure.
The Story From Another Century
The story from another century lived on despite all odds. The people it had been passed down to, miners and loggers, wildcatters, developers and boosters, had other things to consider. Suddenly, when the tale sprouted like a long dormant seed, everyone within a...
She Drifted
She drifted through a downpour of slipshod thoughts and cauterized conversations with herself, the kind that kept her mind off the speedometer. Northbound out of Baker, she stuck to the middle lane and soared up the slope’s long straightaway like a clipper ship...
It Was All Too Clear
It was all too clear what was happening. Money for California’s highway repairs was being spent elsewhere. Nobody was fooled by signs which proclaimed their tax dollars were at work. Every rut, every crack, the absences of necessary lanes reminded them their tax...
